Moving day is drawing nigh, and I'm overwhelmed and nervous, and am daily more convinced than ever that the adcom at the university I'll be attending made some sort of clerical error when they admitted me, and are now just too embarrassed to tell me, and plan to let me flounder about until I realize it for myself.
I have the worst case of impostor syndrome.
I'm told, though, that it's a condition that afflicts many in this profession, even among faculty in the higher echelons of the profession. Which is an interesting paradox (might be worth researching, now that I think about it)--but I'm less interested in interesting paradoxes at the moment than I am in some validation.
And now I've resorted to groveling out here in plain view, hoping for someone to tell me "you're gonna do great!"
In all truth, I'm pretty nervous--very excited, but also feeling a great deal of trepidation. But I'm reminded, almost daily, of how fortunate I am to be surrounded by such an incredible support system. My wife (who never dreamed of leaving her home town, let alone moving across the country--and who is the least demanding, and most content person I've ever encountered), has turned out to be an amazing cheerleader.
She's told me at least 10 times (a day) that I'm gonna do great, and that we're going to be fine--in fact, that we're going to flourish.
Yes; we're going to flourish. Despite a move across country; an income a fraction of what it has been; a house half the size of the one we're moving from; snow (that's bigger than you might think for a girl who grew up in a California beach town); and a baby on the way.
Oh, yeah! I forgot to mention that, years after giving up on having another child--Shawna is pregnant! We're ecstatic! But, of course, this adds a level of stress to an already stressful situation.
But back to the point: despite all of this, Shawna is my biggest fan--and is holding me together when my insecurity gets a little too extreme.
And the kids have been amazing! Alexis is actually looking forward to this (and as the one in our family with the largest social network--by far--I was a little worried about her), and Gentry is pretty excited. Even Amiyah is excitedly telling everyone she encounters that she's moving to "Boston, Massachusetts" (yeah; she says the city/state combination almost every time--just in case someone is confused, I guess).
So, my team is charged up and ready to go. With them behind me, I can't go wrong, can I?
Next up: moving truck arrives next week!
